Friday, June 26, 2009

Aging Gracefully




Is there such a thing for women?




Yes, I guess there is. Those women I know who truly are aging gracefully are the ones who never carry on about their fading beauty, their new-found wrinkles, the sagging eyelids, their double-chins. And I do know women like this. They are the women who simply get up in the morning and get on with living a fulfilling life. But it's not easy. Everywhere we look we're bombarded with ads for anti-aging creams, teeth whitening products, hair colouring/replacement formulas. The media tells us, insists, really, that we should fight the signs of aging ~ at all costs!

This has really hit home for me in the past few years. I keep a website, and teacher-librarians often check this site before inviting me to their schools and libraries to do presentations. I have not bothered to update my author photo in about 10 years. The old one was a good photo, taken by my local newspaper, but really, I don't look like that anymore. I guess I simply didn't want to admit that to myself.

I met a lovely author in Whitehorse this spring, Shyam Selvadurai, who I only knew through his author photo. Once we met and got acquainted, I teased him about his publicity pictures, and how I'd expected to meet someone about 12 years old. He shook his head and said it was just sheer laziness that kept him from making updates.

I guess that was part of it for me, too, (laziness) but I suspect there was more to it. I say that I never take a good photo, but to be honest, it's not the photo, it's the subject. She's growing old. (See previous post.) There have been clues, loud ones, that it was time to update my on-line presence. In recent months (and years, if I'm being honest), when I've arrived at schools and libraries to do those presentations, the teacher or librarian would often do a double-take. They'd say, "Shelley? Is that you?" I could see them scanning my face, trying to find the similarities to the book-jacket photos they'd seen.

"Yes." I'd say, and smile innocently.

They try to hide their shock, and say things like, "Oh, I was expecting someone with dark hair, or someone taller, or....."

"Or someone younger?" I'd ask.

They always look sheepish, and I can only laugh. Of course they expected someone younger. My publicity photos show someone MUCH younger.

So today was the day. Daughter #2, Cara, photographer extraordinaire, took about 1000 head shots of me. I knew I would hate most of them, and I did. But there were a couple that were okay. Better than okay. Flattering, actually. I may be older, but is that character I'm seeing in that older face? And those lines around my eyes... laugh lines?

I have a new web designer and in a week or two those old author photos will be history, replaced with the new ones, and in the future, I will will try to be like my beautiful friends, the ones who accept the aging process, who don't spend ridiculous amounts of time and money to fight the inevitable. And I will not wait 10 years to replace the publicity photos. I will hire a good photographer (hopefully, Cara) and expect a few flattering shots. I will look at the aging face, and know that if I'm living a good life, it will be well-etched into my features and I hope to feel acceptance of that

In the meantime... posted are a few of Cara's photos. Didn't she do a great job?






11 comments:

kc dyer said...

Whoo-HOO!

I think you look like a BABE in these shots!

~kc

Shelley Hrdlitschka said...

Ha! Like I said ~ it's the photographer!

MrsE said...

Love your 'keep it real' take on aging. I remember my own daughter asking me why I didn't dye my hair. "You'd look so much younger," she'd say. My response was that if I started with the dye I wouldn't know who I was. I always want to know who I am. :)

Leslie said...

Wow! I second the "Babe" comment above. For someone of your vintage you DO look fabulous!

With admiration, from someone even older.

Carol said...

Hi Shelley...

Leslie just passed on your blog site to me and I'm glad she did!
What beautiful pics.....
Aging....how perfectly said Shelley! Embrace it!

Carol (Peru)

Anonymous said...

Loved the post. Yes, in fact, you are a babe! But, even more importantly (I think), you are a women of wisdom and accomplishment. And that shows.

I have been searching unsuccessfully for an ad that Anita Roddick did some years ago for the Body Shop. It was a photograph of her, unretouched, as always, but with annotations to each characteristic of her face, -- for example, one wrinkle was marked something like "when daughter Sam was out of touch, travelling in Thailand" and ... well, you get the picture. She was proud of the life that showed on her face. Did you ever see it? I have done all kinds of searches for it, unsuccessfully. I admire Anita Roddick: she created a very successful business but always maintained her social conscience. And she refused to allow the Body Shop to ever claim miracles for their products: She said "moisturizers moisturize, cleansers cleanse: end of story."

Anyway, I have always admired women like her who grow older without trying too hard to stay young, but who have a personality and style that transcends age. You will be of that company, Shelley.

... Anmaru

Julia at Orca Book said...

Ha ha.. we found one site that had a picture of Sarah N. Harvey that was from something like 1981! It was hilarious. I think your new photos are gorgeous by the way!

Unknown said...

You're beautiful inside & out. I also think Julia from Orca should post those pics of Sarah Harvey. :-)

Cara said...

Glad you liked them Mom!!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

You look Gorgeous! I love the "Diva Down" picture of you laying in the grass! Such natural beauty! I hope we can all grow old gracefully together and laugh at the unkind signs of aging! The alternative is worse! Maybe a new book idea about the stories behind our laugh lines!
Love Carol N
P.S. Cara is so talented!!!!

Anonymous said...

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